Thursday, September 17, 2009

face surgery

hi! people are spending millions of dollar to looks beautiful or handsame. today, plastic suregry is the one of source to extime beauty practice. plastic suregry isthe another name of changeing your body, skin, bone etc. face suregry is the one of popular around the world. you can chnge your skin color, mouth, nose, etc. you could be become more handsome or beautiful. as we know, everybody want to have nice body and face too. plastic suegry can help to improve your persanality. movie stars are using plasic suregry to give different look of their body. i believe, plastic suregry is most successful extrime beauty practic then others beauty practic. it gives very fast result then others prctice too.
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  1. Miranda MaSeptember 17, 2009 at 11:16 PM

    1. Your paragraph is a bit vague. You can't only say people do face surgery because they want to look good or to become successful; you have to explain the reaons. If people want to look good, they can simply use make up. Why do they have to risk their lives or their faces to do plastic surgery?

    2. You also need to explain how plastic surgery can improve one's personality, and why movie stars tend to do plastic surgery?

    3. You should make your paragraph more specific. So, instead of telling your audience plastic surgery can make one beautiful, explain why people choose to do it or why is plastic/ face surgery becoming more and more popular.

    4. You may considering narrowing down your topic. (e.g. what kind of face surgery do you want to focus on?)

    5. Even though you are writing on a blog, make sure you're careful with spelling, punctuations,and capitalization, because your audience can tell your effort and seriousness from your mistakes.

    - Miranda

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